Thursday, September 08, 2005

Nerf


Today is a new day.

On the eve of the last day past I found myself standing in a funny sort of hall. A toy hall. Towering above me as far as a 2 year old could see was bears and books and balls and well.. guns! I couldn;t resist! I had to have one! Its like the small child in me took off, bouncing around inside my head saying ' get the quick-loader, the one with the clip!

Alas there wasn't anything I could do to stop the steamrolling train of events that ensued.

I grabbed the sweet gun with the auto-clip and rushed to the front counter, spilled my pennies onto the counter, gasping for air! I could hardly contain my childish excitement! Before I was out of the store I ripped the package apart and loaded my clip, immediately in a battle zone, AIR SUPPORT AIR SUPPORT IVE LOST TOO MANY MEN!!

so yea..

ok so It didnt quite end there..

My rubber-darted orange love machine drove any sensebility left in me straight onto oncoming traffic. I pointed my car in the direction of the evil Wallmart corporation and erractically wove my way through defective halfbreed drivers who should learn how to freaking signal once in a while!

Walmart

A dog barks, the wind rustles in the trees.. a child laughs.. the sound of squealling tires can be heard a far off.. then closer as a 2003 dodge sx2.0 hauls buttoc's into the poorly laid out parking lot, narrowly missing 17 blue pylons (shopping carts), you can tell the driver is quite expirienced and has l33t skillz.

I dive out the window, duke style, and ninjai my way across the yellow striped ground.. likely trip wires for nerf bombes I'll bet. As I enter the glass sliding doors, I notice some noobs attempting to get beer money by playing guitar in front of the 35c pop machine.. spies. Noted.

Its a long walk down the aisle to the toy section.. through makeup and cards, jewlery and candy..its a hard road, but one i must go down if I truly want the prize i seek.
37seconds later I have arrived at my desired destination.. the gun aisle..

My world stops.. I can feel my heart beating, trying to get out of my chest, I can hardly breath.. there it is.. THE ONE... The Transforming Tech 4in1 mini dart system. 4 guns that assemble together to make one! The total assault weapon.. NO.. noo.. I cant do it.. I have $27 left and I should save it!.. but for what.. what do I really need money for? Exactly.. you.. you are the man.. you need this gun. it will COMPLETE you!

The next morning I rolled out of bed to the sound of "BLAH BLAH WAAAANGIDDY WOOOBLEY I LOSSSST MY DOOOG AND NOOOW I NEED TO DIIIEEEEEEE" (who put it on country anyway??) As i warbled out into the sunlit dining room a surge of excitment comes upon me! Its GUN DAY!!

As I make my way to work the excitment builds.. guns loaded I diveroll into theNHA ITS phone support room only to be met by a hailstorm of deadly yellow darts!! the other guys I work with had loaded up with nerf guns themselves! ITs like we planned it!!!

All fun and games aside it was quite a good expirience.. What i like the most is the fact that I get paid a good amount of cashola to shoot my co-workers. :)

3 comments:

K-Prime said...

I hate you a little bit right now.

Brass said...

it's 6am, I hate you alot right now

Zanitram said...

its 7 am. I hate myself right now